Bowen's Report Card
- Psychotic power
- Psychotic acceleration
- Regal and lavish interior
- Massive wow factor
- Fuel economy
- Inability to explore its true performance
- Ordinary warranty
THE BOWEN SCORE
We all exist in a rather weird world right now, and I’m not talking about the virus. This is the era of hysteria. The following remark probably does cause offence to some minority group, but as Clark Gable famously said, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” So here I go. When I see a bloke in an SUV, I see a broken man. One that longs for the good old V8 Commodore or Falcon sedans. A man who simply had to obey his wife’s orders. But I’ve found a solution to this problem (if you’re rich) faced by nuclear families, it’s the Jaguar F-Pace SVR.
This is a product of Jaguar’s Special Vehicle Operations (SVO) division. Think of what HSV was for Holden and FPV for Ford. But in this instance their expertise wasn’t applied to a sports car such at the F-Type, instead they have turned their attention to a family SUV, big time.
This weapon has a 5.0-litre supercharged V8 that smashes out 405kW / 680Nm. The power can be sent to all four wheels if required via an eight-speed automatic. That’s more power than what is made by the 3.8-litre twin-turbocharged V8 engine found in a McLaren 540S (397kW / 540Nm). 0 – 100km is obtained in just 4.3 seconds.
I really think the best way to explain what all that feels like is by watching my video review. But yes, it’s an extraordinary vehicle when you’ve got that “spirited” thing happening.
The most distinctive and head turning trait the F-Pace SVR has, is the unbelievable sound that shoots out the back. The noise fired from the 95mm quad tailpipes is best used judiciously, we are talking about a soundtrack that could wake those in a different post code.
Of course, I wasn’t judicious, instead I found the new M4 Tunnel and let loose. The resulting effect probably made other drivers think the tunnel was about to collapse. Nailing the right gear up or down, at the right speed, sounds like a combination of whip cracking and thunderbolts. It sounds similar to the Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT, both have sledgehammer engines, but the Jag is far more sophisticated.
Via the configurable dynamics it’s possible to alter the settings for the engine, steering, gear shift & suspension. I likened it to pepper spray on some scallywag, it scares the s##t out of you, causes you immediate panic and almost knocks you out.
Of course, you’re eventually going to need to stop, the 395mm front and rear brakes take care of that. This is after all an SUV that weighs more than two-tonnes. Audi via it’s quattro system always makes you feel like a true pro, but the Jaguar is a tad less unpredictable despite AWD. I think that’s a good thing, I want to be able to drive and feel what the vehicle is doing.
Outside of the BMW X3 and X4 M Competition, Jaguar is the most violent SUV I’ve driven. The BMWs are tremendous, but I’ve only driven on a massive clay pan somewhere in the Flinders Ranges.
Value for money
At $140,262 many of you will now immediately go and rearrange your sock draw. But prices can really take off and march to towards $160,000 as you add options. $3,570 adds a glass roof that doesn’t open. But $4,420 solves that problem via a sliding panoramic roof that does open.
Want black roof rails? That’s $640 please. $2210 upgrades the F-Pace SVR with desirable 22” rims. It goes on and on, in total you could spend $### if you went nuts at the dealer.
Fuel consumption is likely irrelevant for this category, but the claim is 11.9L/100km. I could get around 17L/100km, but still I think around the 15L/100km is more likely.
All new Jaguars come with a three-year/100,000kms warranty. Which is more than a tad annoying.
The latest software installed on the 10.0-inch touchscreen looks great. Plus, there’s also Apple CarPlay and Android Auto.
What I Love.
This five-seater has a 650L boot, so there’s more than enough room for a long getaway. I found the car to be hilarious, it put a smile on my dial every day. But where is all this epic performance actually useful?
Bowen’s report card
This is a prestige brand renowned for luxury and performance. I find the looks very attractive but most of all it has a V8, which in the not too distant future will be killed off. It’s a 79 out of 100 for me.