“It’s the Donald Trump of 4×4’s, loud and proud but in denial about serving another term”.

Bowen

Bowen's Report Card


Nissan Patrol V8 Ti-L The Last Dance

The Nissan Patrol V8 is an affront modern day convention. Oil tanker sized petrol V8s are very high up the endangered species list. But there’s still the Nissan Patrol V8 lurking our streets with its imposing presence. I’ve just spent a week on the Nissan Patrol Ti-L, a car I’m very well aquatinted with.

Performance

There’s much joy to be had in the motoring world. From the insane acceleration of a Tesla Model S P100D to the glorious dynamics of a Ford Focus RS. But flogging to death a near three-tonne beast is something else.

A 5.6-litre petrol V8 produces 298kW at 5,800rpm. That’s backed up by 560Nm of torque at 4000rpm. Power is sent on-demand to all four-wheels via a seven-speed automatic transmission. It certainly sounds like a V8, but an aftermarket exhaust would make it even more obnoxious.

For those who actually want to go off-road I can assure you of this. It’s probably the best stock 4×4 you can buy. I’ve driven in the snow and other inconceivable places, situations that could have easily seen either severe damage or total loss of the vehicle.

But this beast is very determined to maintain forward momentum, no matter what.

In terms of real estate there’s basically no other 4×4 other than the Toyota LandCruiser that can top the Y62 Patrol.

The Drive

Some of the kicks come from its sheer size, I’ve said it before, but the Patrol makes you want to drive straight over roundabouts, which of course is naughty and illegal.

From behind the wheel you’re instantly aware of the sheer dimensions. The first time I jumped in one of these I literally burst out laughing. There’s enough room for a cool box between the front seats.

Nissan use what it calls Hydraulic Body Motion Control (HBMC). This is basically what Toyota use on the top of the line Toyota LandCruiser models where it’s called Kinetic Dynamic Suspension System (KDSS). In short, these systems attempt to mitigate body roll, which in the Nissan’s case really pays off.

But the big Nissan is just that, big. There’s no escape from physics and common sense.

It has a rear limited slip diff, multiple 4×4 modes, hill descent control and a huge 140-litre fuel tank.

But there’s still wireless headphones to enjoy content from USB, DVD and HDMI ports.

Comfort

The interior is rather hideous. I’m not sure why faux wood needs to be in any car, let alone the acres on offer here. The Patrol is very lucky that its performance detracts from the atrocities inside.

The seats are very comfortable and well bolstered, it’s synthetic leather but looks convincing enough.

Tri-zone climate control with an independent console in the rear keeps everyone happy. There are two twin 8” screens embedded in the front head rests, that’s all a bit old school these days given the advent of the iPad and tablets in general.

Safety & Technology

There’s an intelligent rear-view mirror that I’ve seen in other vehicles. I’ve struggled to understand its purpose in the past.

But consider this, the rear cargo bay could be packed to the roof blocking the rear-view mirror, but via the flick of a tab a wide-angle video feed fixes that issue.

The facelifted Patrol has LED headlights, 52 to be exact. The taillights are also LED and thankfully redesigned, the previous clear coverings looked like something on an old Skyline that a 20-year old got his or her hands on. The new lights ditch the old Xeons that have become the plasma TV of the car word.

The 2020 /21updates include as standard some heavy-duty safety features. Driver assist systems are now standard on both the Ti and Ti-L.

So, you’re backed by Intelligent Emergency Braking, Intelligent Forward Collision Warning and Rear Cross Traffic Alert. Further standard features include, Intelligent Cruise Control (ICC), Lane Departure Warning (LDW), Intelligent Lane Intervention, Blind Spot Warning (BSW), Intelligent Blind Spot Intervention.

Sadly the 8.0” colour touchscreen remains, minus apple CarPlay or Android Auto. A Commodore 64 is more advanced, as is DOS version 1.0.

Value For Money

The Patrol has become a major drawcard simply because of its price. At launch back in 2013 you’d struggle to get change from $120,000 for the Ti-L. Now The Nissan Patrol Ti base model starts at $75,990 before on roads and just $91,990 for theB as tested Ti-L.

When does that ever happen?

Fuel economy is rated at 14.4/100km, which is pretty good. We lived with a Lexus LX 570 last year for three months. It has a 5.7-litre petrol V8 and 270kW/530Nm on tap. Trust me, over that three-month journey we found up to 20L/100km was more realistic, plus it was priced at $142,431! Plus, it’s a crap drive!

What I Love

It makes you feel like an alpha male on steroids.

Bowen’s Report Card

We all need to understand the motoring world is rapidly changing. The Nissan Patrol Ti-L is the Donald Trump of 4×4’s, loud and proud but in denial about serving another term. It’s an 83 out of 100 from me.